You may speak to them...

You may speak to them...

I think that everyone occasionally thinks of a person from their past who they have some type of regret attached to them. It doesn't necessarily have to fit the category of "someone whom you've wronged" either. Things happen in life, and we don't always handle it well. We may have been intentionally or unintentionally rude, dismissive, or lacking the will to help someone. Or... maybe it could be something more overt that you did. Now, these things have obviously been directed to you by people at times too. However, this isn't about them; this is about who you are! It could also just be someone whom you wish you could have acknowledged in some way and at some point; to tell them that they were important or valued, or maybe someone who you wished that you would have thanked.

I remember many years ago as a little boy, my mom used to take me to this hotdog stand at the Serramonte Shopping Center in Daly City. It was across the mall from the old Longs Drugs, in a little supermarket that was once there. The stand was part of the supermarket, but right along the edge of the mall. A women who was probably at least 85 years old worked there. She must have been someone's grandmother, great-grandmother, and was still working. She had an apron and little visor on. Maybe she was just making some extra money, but it seems more likely that it may have been necessary. The hot dogs were great, in quality, the soft buns, and the condiments. Especially the double dog, with the wide buns, with mustard and relish! I wish I could have thanked her in some way; acknowledged her somehow. I still very much remember her, so maybe that's something.

One time Ken, an old friend of my late father, was doing some work around my mother's house. He was very intelligent and yet had some eccentricities about him, which some people were fond of. He had some past demons that he had overcome, but his children from an early marriage of his were intentionally not in contact with him anymore; never forgiving him for not being available for them, or something to that extent. He regretted it, but rarely spoke of it. As the saying goes: "No matter how much you've changed, you still must answer for what you've done." Once while doing some work at the house, he was extremely negligent regarding something, and I was very angry. I wasn't speaking to him for a good while, and for a damn good reason. If he came around, I would avoid him. Some time later, I thought I'd just call him. Well, I found out that Ken had died.

Another time Jim, a guy who was more of a friend of a friend, used some very colorful language around someone whom he should not have. It wasn't directed there, but he still said it. Aside from some rough moments, he was a good guy. However, this was pretty cringeworthy. I let him know about it, and he listened, and took it. I wasn't not talking to him after that, but I hadn't seen him for awhile. Without going into detail, Jim was killed in a manner which was mostly of his own doing. It wasn't really a suicide or overdose, but I'll just pass on the details. In this case, I have no practical reason to feel any guilt at all. However, I do have some, due to the last time I spoke to him. Maybe I should have just let it slide...

In the case of Ken, it wasn't that I owed him an apology, but I didn't actually write him off. It still went down as though I had. Then we can all think of family things, such as thinking back that maybe I should have called my grandmother more often, or made a point to go back to the Northwoods to visit her more often. She came out to California as much as she could over the years. There are other situations where I was younger, and I maybe wasn't available for some people that I should have been. I'm not saying that I'm agonizing with guilt, but there are things that could be said, should be said, but we may not have had the chance to say them. I think this is a little different than all of the quotes which say something like "don't regret anything, learn from it."

I'm speaking of things that are more like loose strings. Something doesn't feel quite right about them. There was either never closure or you may simply wish you could send a message to them. When we reincarnate, part of our soul remains at source at all times. I think we can send a message, and I think they will receive it. Why not speak aloud to them? There's nothing like phrasing something in your own words. At the right time, just say it! There's no pressure now, no hurry. Maybe it can be added as a type of ongoing ritual; a "rite of closure," or at least closure for that time period. I actually have not done this, so I can't say how I may have felt afterwards or if it felt like a resolved spiritual loose end was healed. I may have tried to one time, but it wasn't the right time.

I will at least make a notation that I would like to add this as a ritual, and it could be a very powerful ritual. Maybe make a list of a half dozen names at a time. It's not asking for forgiveness, although it possibly might be. Most of all, you're conveying that you remember, and that it matters to you. It's a part of you. It doesn't absolutely have to be someone who passed away, although it seems logical that it would most often be. I can think of an older man long ago that I really didn't come through for once, and I can't change it now. I don't think that I can just look up his number in Florida and call him to tell him that I'm sorry that I didn't come through for him. I could express it in a letter, and it's possible that he might share it with some people in which I wouldn't want him to share it with. That's the chance I would have to take. Each situation is different.

As my memory is jogged from writing this, I can think of more people. One person I would like to apologize to in person. Just one. Also, there's a such thing as a "stupid confession," where someone happens to find themselves in a good mood one day, and just feels like owning up to something, and they should've thought twice about it! This should be more of thoughtful exercise. Just make a list, maybe in Word, and see what it looks like. Again, for those who have wronged us in some way, great or small, this isn't about them. This is about who you are. I don't feel anything for things which were done during times of struggle. That's feels very different to me. This would seem to me to be a daytime ritual; not practiced in the night.

Lastly, some rituals are truly great during the night, but in this case you may need the light-energy to shine it's light into those dark crevices of regret, sorrow, and  the willing message of acknowledgement you're sending to that person, that soul. You may need the Sun's rays to help with that. The night is for energy and spirits which you are already at peace and harmony with, and which you're interacting with, perhaps under the Moonlight. You could bring an offering. Maybe just something simple; a little bit of cream, an orange peel, something to help with the energetic closure. I would also suggest, if you have a list, of doing them in "threes".... 3, 6, or 9. I think "three" would be good, as there's no hurry to this. This would probably be one rite to conduct alone.

 

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