My mother passed away today

'I Was Young Once'

by Bida (AllPoetry.com)

Once upon a time
I was but a kid
After other things
In the games hid

Once upon a time
I was but a teen
To me the life
Seemed ever green

Once upon a time
I was in my youth
Each opportunity was
Of the heights booth

Once upon a time
Was a man young
Songs of romance
Were by me sung

Of teen and youth
Now gone are days
Each age has beauty
My heart now says

 

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So often people have said over the ages: "There wasn't enough time." I think that's true, but also we just wish there could be more time. Somewhere I heard, I don't remember where, that "if life was fair, mother's would last forever." Only two months ago, there she was sitting out on that deck behind her home, beyond the six-foot fence along the steep hillside, which is directly connected to the northern Santa Cruz Mountains. There was a little heat wave here, it was probably about 75 degrees, still, sunny, no clouds, a perfect morning. She was sipping a small glass of Lamarca wine and speaking to me. She was healthy in mind and body, although a serious health issue had arisen recently, but more of a long-term problem. That was her final day in the sun, literally and figuratively speaking, and now she's gone from this world... at least for this incarnation. She didn't suffer for long. Many languish for years in her state of the past weeks. She is free, but I will especially miss all of the laughs we had together.

She was indeed young and beautiful once, growing up in the rural Midwest, relatively poor but happy. Of course, being my mother, we are part of the same "soul group family." Although apparently roles change from life to life, I wish she could be my mother many, many times again. I couldn't have asked for a better mom. Now I have lost my mother Janet, my older sister Katherine, and my fiance Rachel. I guess they make something of a perfect spiritual trifecta for me. I wish they all could be here still, but this was what fate gave me. Maybe next time it will go better, happier, and a lot longer. In that instance, I would also have my father as well, and there would have been children and all the rest of it in this daydream. It could have gone very differently for us.

Novelist and TV personality Brad Meltzer--known for his knowledge of ancient codes, the occult, legends, and folklore--when asked about "the end of the world" within religions, legends, and folklore... started out by saying that when his mother passed away, it was "the end of the world for him," or felt like it. During my nightly exercising during these difficult last weeks, I saw the cherry blossoms blooming in the area. Even in the dim light I could make out the pink coloring, emerging in a thick pink mass on the trees. I remember from the film 'The Last Samurai', two scenes about cherry blossoms; in particular, "the perfect cherry blossom." One of her best friends was Japanese.

"The perfect blossom is a rare thing. You could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life," Katsumoto said. Near the end of the film, dying, he saw a beautiful cherry blossom tree in full bloom amid the carnage of the battle. "Perfect. They... are all... perfect..." he finally stated. On the hallway outside of my mother's room was hanging a small painting of a cherry blossom tree. The painting depicted the tree in the dark of night, with trees and hills in the background... much like the ones I saw on those nights.

At the end of the film, the Emperor asked Captain Algren in regards to Katsumoto: "How did he die?" Algren responded: "I will tell you have he lived." The Emperor also said during that scene: "We cannot forget who we are, or where we came from." In the bylaws of profession sports, there's what they call a "franchise player," where a team can declare a player or two to be off-limits to be signed and taken away from the team. Life and fate, of course, offer no such thing. Perhaps it was still dark out when she passed, in an unpleasant building of strangers; however the light from the gentle spirits of her family on the other side swooped down to claim their own.

Birth.... Life.... Death and to a New Arising....

 

~She is now the morning and the spring~

 

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